


hold your suitcase

by jaimeykay



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-27
Updated: 2012-07-27
Packaged: 2017-11-10 20:20:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/470285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaimeykay/pseuds/jaimeykay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That story where Jared and Jensen live together and are stupid and pine for each other in secret. It's okay, though, because Sadie's smarter. And can apparently speak to Jared, although that part is up for debate. AKA, Jared is an awkward Prince Eric, Jensen is a grumpy-ass Ariel, and Sadie is a perverted version of Sebastian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hold your suitcase

Sadie doesn't like to choose between Jensen and Jared and where to sleep. She likes both of them. She'll admit that even though it's colder downstairs, she likes it better. She can sleep in longer and she doesn't have to fight anyone for a good spot. Jared sleeps arms and legs akimbo, rolling around all night, but Jensen doesn't move. He finds one spot and sleeps like a log. Plus, he's really warm, and he doesn't seem to notice when she curls up against his back.

Except some mornings she's really hungry and she licks at Jensen's neck over and over to wake him up (it works on Jared, after all) but he groans and pushes her away. So she nibbles on his fingers, only a little, and he growls some and rolls over, pressing his face into his pillow.

It didn't _hurt_. Jared doesn't care. Baby. She climbs on his back and licks his ear.

She's starving. Why doesn't he get that? Hmm.

Maybe he'll be more careful in the future when he finds his sweatshirt.

\---

At 5:56am on Tuesday morning, Jensen stumbles into the kitchen, eyes bleary and yawning, glasses slipping down his nose. He scratches aimlessly at his neck, which is especially exposed this morning because of Jared's huge hoodie hanging off his body. Jared's mouth goes dry and he coughs.

"Did you get in the wrong closet or something this morning?"

"Sadie," Jensen mumbles, which is apparently answer enough. Jared watches as the hoodie slips down Jensen's shoulder. His shoulder. With freckles. Jared kind of wants to trace them with his tongue. He blinks and adjusts his gaze.

"Sadie?"

"Ate it," Jensen sets his coffee maker to brew and stares at it with vacant eyes, pushing his glasses back up.

"Ate _what_?"

"My sweatshirt."

"Uh, you've got more than one, don't you?"

"Was closer. This one."

"Why was it in your room?"

"Sadie."

"Sadie was in your room?"

"Both."

Jared lifts an eyebrow. "Huh?"

Jensen takes his cup of coffee and lifts it to his nose, taking an inhale so deep that Jared's a little concerned coffee is gonna get sucked up his nostrils. Jensen takes a sip, and his face relaxes and eyes brighten a bit. "Sadie came into my room and tore up my sweatshirt - thanks for that, by the way - and the other ones I have, I either left on set or they smell like smoke. Or have dog slobber on them. Sadie brought me this one; she felt bad, I guess."

Jared's still stuck on the idea of it being his fault that Sadie ate Jensen's sweatshirt, and he's about to say so until Jensen takes another sip and the freckled shoulder makes another appearance.

"Good girl," he murmurs to Sadie, scratching her behind the ears. She wags her tail and plops down by his chair, patiently waiting for toast crumbs like she does every morning. Little clumps of fabric linger on her jowls.

Jared gives her a whole piece and hope she doesn't barf out draw strings.

:::

Jensen revives on the way to set, thanks to three cups of coffee, and Jared wonders (not for the first time) how huge Jensen's bladder must be by now. He prefers not to ruminate on that particular subject, though, and focus on Jensen's other attributes. Sadie slobbers happily over his left shoulder while Harley claws at the window until Jared rolls it down.

"'S not good for dogs, you know," Jensen says. "Shit gets in their ears and stuff."

Jared frowns before tugging Harley back inside, who pathetically whimpers before curling into a ball in the backseat. Sadie moves over to Jensen now, climbing over the seat and collapsing on his lap. Jensen lets out a whoosh of breath at the added weight.

"Fat slob," he says, but he doesn't move, and Sadie's tail thumps against Jared's leg.

"Traitor," Jared mumbles, but he pulls out his script and flips through the pages aimlessly. "Oh shit, I forgot - today's snake day." He tries not to whoop.

"Then _you_ let it slither all over you," Jensen says, lip curling.

"We could trade," Jared waggles his eyebrows.

"That's what I just said."

"No, I mean -" _I could slither all over you_. "Uh. Never mind."

_You're pathetic._

Jared jumps in his seat. "The fuck? Why am I pathetic?"

"Uh, nobody said you were?" Jensen frowns. He holds out his coffee. "Maybe you need some?"

Jared pushes it away. "No, I don't need your sludge. I know I heard it."

"Okay," Jensen says slowly. "Sure, man."

"I hate you."

Jensen gives him a weird look but he leans back in his seat, scratching Sadie's head. She maneuvers until she's on her back, nudging Jensen's stomach until he starts rubbing her belly. Her foot starts twitching and Jensen laughs.

It's kind of Jared's favorite sound.

:::

Jared likes to hang out at the bars in Vancouver (it's not Hollywood, and people don't seem to give two fucks now that they're used to the CW overtaking their city). Sometimes, though, the crew crashes at their place. On Saturday night, a few of them come over, including Jensen's stunt double, Todd. Todd's a cool guy, chill and funny. Plus, he's got great taste in beer, and he brings over a different stout every time he comes by.

Mike turns up around eleven, already drunk, with a chess set of all things. "We should play Secret Agent Laser Obstacle chess," he slurs, and Jared's impressed that Mike could spit out the words.

"Uh?"

"You know," Mike moves his hands all around. "With _lasers_. You have lasers, right?"

"Uh, no."

Mike's face actually crumbles. "How do you not have lasers?"

"I just don't?"

"Douche," Mike mumbles, already stumbling his way to the kitchen. "Don't have lasers. Jesus. Welling would have lasers. What kind of world do we live in?"

"A normal one!" Jared calls after him, and Harley trots on his heels, making Mike stumble.

"Back off, mangy mutt," he says, reaching out to steady himself on the door frame. "Hey, Jensen! Your boy doesn't have lasers!"

"The fuck?" Jensen says, and Jared can only hear giggling after that. Jared rolls his eyes and pulls another beer from his mini fridge - an oatmeal stout. It should taste like shit, fucking _oatmeal_ in beer, but it's delicious, and Jared raises a toast to Todd. He sits down on the couch and flips on his Xbox, handing Todd a controller.

"Madden?" he asks.

"Sure," Todd nods. "I got the Browns."

"Dude, nobody wants to be the Browns. Not even the Browns."

Five stouts later, Jared's losing rather spectacularly. No big deal, because it's a hell of a lot funnier to make his players dive in the opposite direction on purpose. Todd chuckles quietly beside him, and somehow, during Jared's drunken haze, he's moved closer to Jared on the couch. His thigh brushes against Jared's, heat seeping through the denim of his jeans. Was this intentional? Should Jared say something? Is there more alcohol in the mini fridge? Is -

"OW!"

Jared nearly jumps out of his skin, but Todd's up off the couch, hopping on one leg.

"What happened?" Jared asks, a bit stupidly, but it's really hard to keep Todd in one outline in his vision.

"Your dog bit me," Todd winces as he sits on the floor, pulling up his jeans to get a look at his ankle. Sadie wags her tail, tongue flopping out of her mouth as she pants. She seems completely unfazed.

By now, Jensen and Mike have ambled into the room (where the fuck have they been? Jared's brain offers him some suggestions that don't look appealing, not at all, except for the part where Jensen is naked) and Jensen looks at Jared questioningly.

"Apparently Sadie bit Todd," Jared says, but he can't quite bring himself to believe it.

"No _apparently_ ," Todd says, looking cross. He holds up his ankle, and sure enough, when Jared squints, he can make out the bite marks.

"Huh. Sorry, dude," Jensen says, and he stumbles, falling over on the couch. His gaze seems to trail everywhere but Todd. "She doesn't usually do that."

Sadie hops up on the couch and lays her head on Jensen's thigh. Jared swears he sees her hackles rise.

"I should go," Todd says slowly, pulling his pant leg back down.

"I can drive you," Mike interjects, looking cross-eyed. "No - no deal biggie." He holds up his key chain and swings the breathalyzer that's attached. "Point one-seven, bitches. I'm good to go."

Jensen's eyebrows fly up. " _That's_ good to go?"

"Yeah, no," Todd says, shaking his head. "I'm all right. I've only had two. You - you should go to bed, dude."

"Party's only begun!" Mike shakes his head. "I've got an alpaca coming in twenty. I forgot the saddle, but I can im - improv - make it up as I go."

Jensen clears his throat.

"I haven't named him yet. Howard, maybe? Yeah, Howard sounds alpaca-y." Mike's eyelids droop and he tips over on the floor. Nobody bothers to move him, and Todd gives an awkward wave before limping out the door.

Christ, Mike better have been joking about the alpaca.

"What did Todd do?" Jensen asks, scratching Sadie's neck.

"I dunno, man," Jared says, but he feels flushed. Kind of itchy, like thousands of centipedes are crawling all over his skin. He squirms on the cushion; his cock stirs to life and he palms it, staring at Mike's bald head to coax it back down.

Jensen's stare burns hot on Jared's face, but he remains facing forward, gnawing on his lip.

"Oh," Jensen says finally, and he makes a move to get off the couch, but Sadie puts her front paws on Jensen's legs, keeping him in place. She kicks her back legs until they rest across Jared's own, closing her eyes. Jared rubs her flank and toes off his shoes, letting his head sit on the back of the couch.

_See? Nice. Warm._

Jared intakes a breath and looks at Jensen, but he doesn't react. He lets his gaze drops to Sadie, who looks back at him with a serene smile.

 _No way_ , he mouths.

_Yes way?_

Jared taps the space between her eyes. _...Sadie?_

 _Duh. Jared. Jared Jared Jared._ She licks Jensen's hand, but he's passed the fuck out. _It's Jensen. Jensen Jensen. Hey, Jared. See? He likes you. Likes likes._

Jared scrunches his eyes shut. Then pops them back open and looks for Harley on the floor.

_...Harley?_

A snore.

_Stupid Jared._

Right, because Harley talking to him would be ridiculous. But not Sadie. Of course. Stupid Jared.

_He's right there._

_He's_ sleeping.

 _He will wake up._ Sadie nudges at Jared's hand. Jared simply screws his eyes shut until Sadie stops. He takes a peek to see that she's closed her own and curled into a ball on their laps.

_Not finished with you, though._

Jared grits his teeth and stares at her, but she's fallen silent. Now he can't sleep, his gaze lingering between Mike drooling on the floor, Harley asleep with his head resting on Mike's stomach, and watching Jensen's chest move up and down as he breathes. The stouts sit heavy in his stomach and his mouth is dry; his temples are already starting to throb.

Stupid dog.

Sadie doesn't move until eleven the next morning, and Jared wakes up to the feeling that he's swallowed an old gym sock, but that's okay, because it's totally worth seeing Jensen wrapped around her like she's a huge teddy bear.

:::

Jared brings Sadie and Harley on set next week, and Todd goes out of his way to avoid him. Good thing, too, because Sadie growls low in her throat, sending Todd almost running in the other direction.

"What the hell, Sadie?" Jared scolds her, but she simply trots over to his trailer, scratching at the door. Harley's not far behind her, sniffing her ass. "Gross, dude. Be a fucking gentleman. Stop. _Stop._ "

Once inside, they both bound around the trailer, looking for the candy Jared has strewn all over the place. There's a rustling of paper and Harley's head reemerges out of a brown paper bag on the floor, Twizzler hanging out of his mouth like a cigarette. Sadie gives it a tentative lick and Harley gives her a warning growl, backing away from her.

"Fatass," Jared sighs.

_Hungry. Food. Food food food._

"You already ate," Jared says before he realizes what he's doing. He massages his temples. Sadie stands at attention.

_More food._

Jared doesn't bother responding to that, and he makes sure their water bowls are filled before he opens the door to leave.

_Jensen would give me food._

Jared slams the door extra hard at that.

Speaking of cigarettes, Jensen's puffing away at one as he waits for their scene to be set up, clicking on his phone. He starts when Jared plucks it out of his fingers and stamps it out on the ground. "Hey! Dickwad."

"That shit's no good for you."

"Fuck off," Jensen says without any heat, but his forehead furrows, a classic sign that he's annoyed. "Getting really tired of hearing that; it's not your business."

"It is when I have to smell you all day," Jared says. "Not to mention inhale all the smoke after you."

Jensen blows right in his face and Jared coughs. " _Ass._ "

Jensen's grin is downright cheeky, all teeth, eyes crinkled at the corners. "Next time, I'll make it a bit more fun for you."

Jared's mind goes blank, except for the image of swallowing the smoke right from Jensen's mouth. "Uh."

"Kidding," Jensen's mouth curls upward, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes this time. "Ready?"

"You know it, baby," Jared drawls.

Jensen snorts, but he looks strangely pleased.

::: 

"I can still feel it crawling all over me."

"Baby."

"It could have _killed_ me."

"Bummer."

"You would have been sad."

"Balderdash."

"Stop saying words that start with 'b'".

"Barbiturate."

Jensen rubs his neck, rolling his eyes. "Of course you had to go make friends with it."

"Well, yeah. Did you see that thing? It could kill a person."

It's not because Jared wanted to see if he could hear something...snakey. If he could hear any animal. It's not. Definitely not.

Jensen blows out a breath and veers right to head to his trailer. "Meet you in thirty? I'm gonna shower first, get this shit off of me."

Shower. Showering is good. Jensen showering is fantastic. Jared's fingers find the buttons on Sam's flannel shirts and he starts to undo them almost automatically. When he comes back to himself he realizes that Jensen is staring at him, eyes tracking Jared's progress.

Oh.

"Yeah. Thirty." Jared gives a salute (what the fucking fuck was that, Padalecki?) and turns around, marching back to his own trailer -

Where he's nearly stampeded by Sadie blowing past him. "Hey! The hell? Sadie, get back here!'

She's already gone, tail whipping around the corner, but Jared isn't too concerned. She knows her way around set just as much as he does and she's gone off on her own before; she'll make her way back.

But before food?

Harley sits beside his bowl, tongue lolling out; he gives it a little poke and looks up at Jared with an expected expression.

"Yeah, yeah," Jared mutters, and dumps Harley's food in the bowl, listening as Harley scarfs it down. The bowl clangs around on the floor while Harley licks up every possible morsel, then goes to check Sadie's bowl just in case.

Jared debates taking a shower himself, but he doesn't want to while Sadie's roaming around set somewhere and she decides to come back. He leaves the door open and starts getting ready to leave for the night; Harley is already dead asleep on the floor. On more desperate days Jared has thrown his head under the sink faucet, but he doesn't smell that bad. Or feel so sticky. Eh, he'll be fine.

There's a clatter of claws on the floor, and Jared looks up to see Sadie skid back into his trailer, her head buried in Jared's jacket. She backs away carefully and gives a perfunctory sniff at Harley's bowl.

_Me?_

"You weren't here."

_Me._

"Where did you go, anyway?"

_My turn._

"You can wait until we get home."

_My turn now._

"Look," Jared begins, holding up a finger, but he freezes. Nope, not today, brain. You can't fool me. Did he hit his head? Has a tumor suddenly latched onto his temporal lobe? Is he undergoing some massive character bleed that makes him want to believe that - no. He groans to himself. "Come on, let's go."

Sadie nips at his fingertips but she continues past him, Harley not far behind. Jensen is already sitting in the car, hair damp and miraculously gel-free. Jared can't help but reach out and tug on a strand of hair. Jensen makes a face and punches Jared's forearm.

"Don't touch me."

"No touchy?"

"Fuck yeah, no touchy. It's late and I'm tired and starving my balls off so do _not_ touch me."

Grumpy Jensen is one of Jared's favorite Jensens.

_You can make him less grumpy._

Jared smirks at Sadie. _He already said he doesn't want to be touched._

_You touched his hair, not his -_

"Starving your balls off, huh?" Jared interrupts. "That's a new one."

"Whatever," Jensen mumbles, expression turning surly. It's slightly endearing, but Jared's pretty sure that's limited to people who already know and love him. Jared lets him be and rests his head against the window.

Harley and Sadie tear out of the car when they get back, their needs quickly becoming evident on the front lawn.

"Gross," Jensen mutters as he walks by them, his one-track mind leading him to the kitchen. Jared laughs to himself and heads upstairs to take his own shower.

Sadie's waiting for him on his bed when he gets out, towel wrapped around his waist.

_Jensen needs help._

There's a bang and a muffled curse from downstairs, and Jared raises an eyebrow at Sadie. "What did you do?"

Sadie's ears twitch. _Nothing._

"Right," Jared drawls, but he throws on some clothes (unfortunately) and makes his way back downstairs, following the growls to Jensen's room.

"What's going on, man?"

"I can't find my phone," Jensen mumbles, and Jared ducks as a pair of Dean's boots fly past his head.

Jared holds up his own. "Want me to call it?"

"Not sure what good it'll do; the ringer's turned off."

"We can hear it, uh, vibrating?"

Jensen smirks. "Yeah, okay," and they both freeze as Jared hits Jensen's number, listening carefully.

Nothing.

"What the fuck," Jensen sighs, beckoning Jared to follow him into the living room. Jared calls the phone again, but the only thing they can hear is Sadie barking.

"Be quiet!" Jared yells.

_No. Jared._

"What?"

"What?" Jensen echoes. "I didn't say anything."

"Yeah, I know," Jared mutters, and he can almost feel Jensen's bewildered expression on his back as he makes his way back to his own room. Sadie rolls on her back, legs in the air as she messes up Jared's bed sheets.

"Why are we -" Jensen starts, but falls quiet at Jared's raised hand. Jared's dresser hums, his jacket moving slightly, and Jensen makes a noise of confusion.

"Why is my phone in your jacket?"

Jared glares at Sadie. "No idea."

She returns his glare with a little doggie grin and barks.

_Bedtime. Bedtime for you. Jensen will help get you ready._

"So there it is!" Jared coughs. "Problem solved. Think I'm gonna grab something to eat and crash."

"Sounds good," Jensen nods, but he looks distant, turning his phone over in his hand. He grunts when Sadie grabs one of his pant legs with his teeth, pulling him back. "Dude. What the hell's wrong with your dog? Let go, Sadie."

Sadie does, adding a whimper for good measure.

"Oh, come on," Jensen says, but he sits on his heels and scratches her head. Jared swears she gives him a smirk over Jensen's shoulder.

_Pity for me. Stays for me. I sneak out. Then only you and Jensen._

"How about Sadie stays with you tonight?" Jared suggests, resisting the urge to stick out his tongue.

_What._

"She seems to want to stick with you," Jared continues, not letting his mind be filled with images of exactly what Jensen could possibly do to him once Sadie left them alone.

_He would be naked. With you. Naked._

"What do you say?" Jared persists, feeling himself start to sweat; his t-shirt sticks to his chest.

_Naked, Jared._

"Okay," Jensen says, shoving his phone in his pocket. Jared opens his mouth to say that he changed his mind, Jensen can stay with them instead, clothing optional, but bare skin is fantastic and heavily encouraged - "Come, Sadie."

Jared swallows back a groan; Sadie bares her teeth for only a moment before turning around and following Jensen, tail between her legs.

Yeah, that's right. Take that. Jared's smarter.

...just not this time.

:::

One weekend, Danneel shows up at their place with a ball of fluff peeking out of her purse.

"The hell is that?" Jared squints.

Danneel blows hair out of her face. "It's a dog, dumbass. What does it look like?" She gives Jensen a kiss on the cheek and Jared a side hug. "He's cute as shit."

Jared beckons her. "I need some concrete evidence. Bring the fluff ball out, then."

Danneel is a beautiful woman. Funny, too. If Jared had met her on the street in another life, he probably would have gone after her. (The first time she hugged him, he popped a boner. He would have died of embarrassment if she hadn't snickered into his shoulder and patted him on the chest, leaving it at that.)

Jensen was quiet for the first two months after they broke up; he lost weight and looked like a haggard mess. Jared never asked why they broke up, guessing it wasn't his place, and Jensen never offered the reason. He's not sure when it happened, but they were able to become friends again, to the point that she's more than comfortable with showing up out of the blue and staying at their place for a weekend.

Danneel's dog takes unsteady steps around the living room, eying the new surroundings carefully. Harley cocks his head, as if he has no idea what this little thing is wandering around his living room (Jared can only imagine the inner monologue: "Food? Food? Toy? Food?" and he curses Sadie. Maybe. He'd have to admit that it _is_ Sadie first, and he's definitely not doing that.) and he keeps a close eye on Harley. Sadie, on the other hand, circles Icarus for a moment before she walks right up to him and wraps her mouth around his middle.

_Dog?_

"Sadie!" Jared yelps, grabbing her by the tail and pulling her back.

"It's okay," Danneel waves a hand. "She wasn't biting him, see?"

"You realize that Sadie can swallow your little lint ball whole, right?"

"She won't," Danneel dismisses. "Icky needs to make friends."

Jared is seriously questioning her definition of 'friend' when Danneel throws her duffel on the floor.

"So what's going on tonight, shitheads?"

"People are probably coming over here," Jensen says, looking at Jared for confirmation. Jared shrugs.

"Probably."

"It's not Mike, is it?" Danneel crinkles her nose.

"What's wrong with Mike?" Jared laughs.

"He's _that_ drunk guy."

"The hilarious one that we draw on after he passes out?"

Danneel considers. "Point. Hey, you guys got any steak?"

Danneel is really fucking awesome.

:::

"Jared, Mike's trying to ride your dog!" Danneel calls out, and Jared (trying vainly to erase the imagery that statement invokes) tears through the living room and throws open the back door to the backyard. Mike whoops but Jared can't see him; he flips on the back light and squints.

Mike is more crouched around Harley, ass barely skimming Harley's back, running low to the ground while Icarus chases after them, yipping away. Mike grips Harley's collar with one hand while the other is raised in the air. Sadie sits calmly on the deck, her eyes following Mike and Harley's progress, head held up high.

_Such children._

Jared isn't nearly drunk enough for this. Jensen is, apparently.

"Hey," he smiles, giving Jared a nudge. "Bet I could do that."

"Do what?"

"You know," Jensen gives a bizarre impression of a gallop. "Let you ride me."

Danneel giggles on his other side, her hair mussed and eye make-up smudged. She looks positively wasted. (Still hot, though.) "Jensen's a real good rider, too. Uh. Ridee. Person to ride. And I'm sure he'd ride you like a champ." She leans across Jared to give him a punch to the bicep. "You could give each other a test ride? I can be the judge." Her leer is almost blinding.

Jensen leans against Jared, so close that Jared smells the alcohol on his breath. His weight is hot and heavy, his shirt (worn after too many washes) soft on Jared's skin. "Wh-what do ya say? Wanna -" and he _humps Jared's leg._

"Guh," Jared stammers, face flushed so red that the tip of his ears must be screaming. Jensen's cock is hard against Jared's hip, and Jared curls his hand in a fist, imagining his long fingers wrapped around his dick, fingertips ghosting along the side, cradling Jensen's - "Uh, maybe another time."

"But I want to now," Jensen whispers, his breath tickling Jared's ear. His voice is low. "Can't you feel? Come on, I know you want to. Lift me right up on that wall, you fu-fucking giant. Sadie wants you to."

Jared blinks, and if that doesn't make his dick shrink like a frightened turtle, nothing will. "Sadie? Uh, Jensen. What the fuck?"

"I can tell," Jensen slurs.

Jared leans in close so only Jensen can hear. "You...hear her too?"

"Bwah?" Jensen says, his eyes glued to Jared's lips. He licks his own. "Hear who?"

"Never mind," Jared fumbles and tries to recover. "Dude, you're talking about my dog. Wanting us to bang. That's...messed up."

Jensen pokes Jared's nose with his finger. His eyes go cross. "You're not a _believer._ "

God, Jared doesn't want to be. "I think it's time for some water, champ. And ibuprofen. Lots and lots of water."

"Mike isn't drinking water."

"Mike should not be your standard by any means, man. I'll get him next. Come on."

"Fuck you," Jensen pulls away, but his expression is light.

Jared sighs and grabs him, ducking his shoulder and slinging Jensen over it. Jensen squirms until he's almost wrapped around Jared's head. "Giddy-yup!" he booms, and Jared obliges.

"Hey, Danni!" Jensen calls. "I'm riding Jared!"

"Lucky bastard," Jared swears he hears Danneel mutter before they turn the corner and head to Jensen's room. He tosses Jensen on the bed and Jensen bounces before he settles in, shoes and all.

"Hey, take your damn contacts out."

"Nah," Jensen says, eyes closed. "'S fine."

Jared sighs and starts untying the laces of Jensen's shoes, throwing them by the closet. "I'm leaving some water here, okay? Plus the bottle of ibuprofen. Try not to drown in your own puke."

"You're not staying?" Jensen mumbles, and Jared freezes, wondering if Jensen even knows what he said.

"No, dude. Bed's all yours."

"Sucks," Jensen says into his pillow. "You gotta cowboy up, dicksauce."

"...did you just call me semen?"

"Come," Jensen sings. "Come come come. It's a good word, come on." He laughs as if he's the funniest guy alive. "Come on. Get it?"

Danneel shrieks from the living room, and Jared pats Jensen's ankle. "Think it's time to go. I don't like the sound of that."

"Fine, dickcheese."

"Dick - you know what, never mind."

Sadie slips through the open door and hops on the bed, scooting Jensen over until the left side is completely open. She watches Jared with large, mournful eyes.

" _No_ , Sadie." 

She lays her head between her paws and casts her eyes down. For the first time, Jared seriously contemplates hopping into bed, the feel of Jensen's body against his, of Jensen's hand wrapped around his dick while his other hand traces circles around Jared's chest, Jensen's hot mouth fitting around Jared's earlobe and sucking gently -

He bites his lip and shifts, forcing himself to picture Mike running around with Harley. It's not cool to fuck around with someone who's drunk. Especially when you're sober. "I fucking hate you, Sadie."

She licks her chops and barks. _Liar._

Jared turns and runs before he loses all composure.

:::

When Jared manages to drag himself into the car one morning, he finds that Sadie has chewed through the right seat belt.

"Don't crash," Jensen tells Clif as he slams his door shut and inhales his coffee.

"I don't think so, bucko," Clif gestures. "Move over. I'm not getting my ass fired because you flew through the windshield."

Jensen sighs but scoots over, buckling up. It's stupid, because they've never had a problem being all up in each other's space before, but there's a heat pooling low in Jared's stomach and Jensen's neck is bright red. Sadie nudges the side of Jared's head.

 _You're welcome,_ she says. Jared groans to himself.

:::

On Thursday, the lights on main set nearly explode (everyone denies a role but Jared is secretly suspecting that Jim tripped over something) and now they have Friday off. Jared can't remember the last time he's had a Friday off. So Jared and Jensen decide to pick up some beer and watch a football game.

Damn, they're getting old.

The colors on the TV screen start to blur together, and Jared lets his eyes rest on the coffee table in front of him. Ah. That's a lot of empty bottles there.

_You drink too much._

Jared doesn't even flinch this time. _This is not drinking too much. This is living._

Sadie shoulders between them on the couch and sits atop the headrest. _He's very close to you, but you have to set the mood._

_There's nothing better than sports and beer._

_Not romantic. I help._

Suddenly Sadie starts whining low in her throat, a slow, mournful type tune, and Jensen turns his head.

"Does she need to piss?"

Jared glares at her. "No, she's just being a dumbass."

"Okay," Jensen says slowly. "I'm gonna get another beer. Want one?"

 _Setting the mood, my ass._ "If you don't get me one, I'll cut off your nutsack."

Jensen gives him a weird look but gets off the couch. Jared kind of wants to punch himself. And his dog.

"You're no Sebastian," Jared tells Sadie.

_And you're no Prince Eric._

"How the hell do you even know who that is?"

Sadie bares her teeth. Her breath smells like cheese. Jared suspects she's been licking the lid of the pizza box. Looks like there's pepperoni stuck to her gums.

Jared ignores her and turns the TV up louder, focusing on the game. Auburn's in the red zone, damn it.

_Just hold his hand._

Jared groans. "No. That's stupid."

_You're too scared to kiss him._

"I'm not -" Jared begins loudly, then lowers his voice. "I'm not _scared_. It's - it's complicated."

_Why?_

"You're a dog, for fuck's sake. How could you understand?"

_Jensen loves you. I know so._

"Oh, yeah? He told you that, huh?"

_Yes._

"Well, he - wait, what? He _told_ you?"

Sadie licks his face. _Of course. He talks about you a lot. I know lots of things._

Jared can't help but be curious. "Yeah? Like what?"

Sadie whines. _Kiss him, and maybe he'll tell you himself._

"Oh, come on. Weak answer. Give me a hint?"

Sadie's quiet; she closes her eyes and curls into a ball.

"Fucking cheater, you -"

"Are you talking to the dog?"

Jared looks up as Jensen sits back down and slides him a beer. "Maybe?" He swallows back a _she started it._

"You've been acting weird, man."

Jared takes a swig of beer. "No idea what you mean," he says.

Jensen mirrors him, his lips lingering on the mouth of the bottle. "Really," he deadpans. Jared swallows, then clears his throat.

"Nope," he croaks.

_Puberty again, huh?_

"Fuck off," Jared hisses, glaring at Sadie.

Jensen's eyes grow huge. "Uh?"

"Not you," Jared hurries. "Definitely not you. I don't want you to fuck off. A fuck, yeah. Not fucking off. Fucking is good. Wait. What am I saying?"

Jensen's lips are crooked now. "I have no idea, dude."

Jared lifts a shoulder and tries to push Sadie off the couch. She doesn't budge, but she does laugh. It's high-pitched, like one of those hyenas from The Lion King. Maybe the Whoopi Goldberg one.

Now he can't stop picturing Sadie with dreadlocks. God fucking damn it.

"Well," Jensen continues. "I think I know what you're saying."

Jared blinks and is tempted to rub his eyes for good measure. "You - you do?"

"Mm hmm," Jensen hums, setting his beer down on the coffee table. "You're thinking about what I'm thinking."

Jared swallows. "What - what am you thinking?"

"I don't know," Jensen murmurs, and he _slides onto Jared's lap._ "Something like this?"

"Yes?" Jared ventures, although he's pretty sure Jensen wasn't actually asking.

"Maybe something like," Jensen breathes, running his fingers through Jared's hair and leaning forward so that he can mouth at Jared's earlobe, and (oh God, thank you, right there, fuck, his own damn leg is about to start twitching) "this?"

"That could work," Jared manages. Sadie's laughter grows.

"Or," Jensen slides back a bit and pulls at the button of Jared's jeans, slowly undoing the zipper and carefully takes Jared's straining cock in his hand, "maybe I can take you in my mouth, all the way down my throat, until I've swallowed all of you?"

"That sounds acceptable" comes out as "ngh" instead.

"And later, I'll ride you until you scream, then slide right off and fuck you until you can't speak, can't see anything but me." Jensen lets his hand curls into a fist around Jared's dick and strokes slowly, so slowly that Jared wants to cry. "Just me. What do you think?"

Jensen barks out a laugh when Jared lifts him completely in the air and almost sprints for Jensen's room. He takes care to close the door, though - Sadie doesn't need to see - or hear - this. Innocent doggie ears and all.

\---

The next day, Jared buys Sadie a brand new bed. It's big, and fluffy (like _that_ dog, the little yippy ball that shows up sometimes), but it doesn't smell right, and she usually ends up waking with lint in her mouth. Harley doesn't seem to care that he's been booted from Jared's room, but he'll sleep anywhere.

Simpleton.

Most of the time, she can sneak her way back into Jared (and now Jensen's) room without getting shooed out, as long as she gives them an hour or two alone at first. Jared doesn't seem to trust her in there. But when she is allowed in, she rests her head on Jared's calf and presses her nose against Jensen's ankle, matching her breathing with theirs.

Now she doesn't have to choose between them anymore. Mission accomplished.


End file.
